Bear Hunting

[Tamet Gould]

The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing.  He was cruising along the campground in the Pope Mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.  A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a 'Vote for Obama' hat and a 'Save the Trees' t-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly.
 
As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers with 'Go Sarah' t-Shirts came racing up.  One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's chest.  The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp.  Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear, and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.
 
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over.  'I give you my blessing for your brave actions!' he told them.  I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true.'
 
As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies, 'Who was that guy?'
 
'It was the Pope,' another replied.  'He's in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom.'
 
'Well,' the logger said, 'he may have access to all wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about bear hunting!  By the way, is the bait still alive, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?'